I was thinking about that last night before bed and again while making lunch today. I was making soup. I poured water into a pot and let it heat. The electricity activated the stove and the water poured from the tap as it usually does, but I did not wire the building or lay the pipes. In the water, I boiled a stock cube and some rice which former housemates had left behind, I poured in a sauce which a friend found and purchased for me a year ago, I added vegetables and herbs I had purchased using funds provided by supporters - many of whom are probably reading this. If that's you, thanks for lunch.
The giving goes further. This food, like the majority of what I eat, was made without consulting a recipe. This is because I have a mother who, many years ago, was willing to pass on her abilities to an easily distracted daughter. If not for that, I wouldn't have the confidence or experience to improvise a meal from ingredients left in the cupboard. Mom, thanks for teaching me to cook.
Just as lunch was almost ready to eat, a friend of mine came in and offered me something to drink. Another gift which I had not purchased was given to me. Faith, thanks again for the tea.
But the gift reaches further. I could go on. I could go deeper and meditate on the people who shipped or produced ingredients and the debt of gratitude owed for the natural world from which these ingredients came. I could consider that my body and health and consciousness have all been given to me as surely as that cup of tea was.
The risk is that this will begin to read like the Acknowledgments section of a book, and while most acknowledgments feel unending, this one really would be, because everything, everything in my life is given to me.
That includes the strength to make it through busy seasons. In the past four months, I have not once updated this blog, but I have run a kids' club. I've prepared numerous English lessons, seen new ministries begin, and watched outreaches fall. I've rejoiced with those who were rejoicing, counselled grieving friends, and celebrated the holidays with loved ones. I've considered the future, formed new dreams, and watched some of those dreams die to eventually make way for others. All of this was with gratitude for the help of dear friends close by, the prayer and support of loved ones far away, the common sense and energy of coworkers, and, yes, the grace of God.
The problem is, that picture is too large for me. It's difficult to see and wrap my mind around all of these things I don't have any hope of paying it back.
So, today, I focus on the little things. The fleeting gifts. The everyday generosity we take for granted, because there's a lot to be thankful for in a cup of tea and a bowl of rice.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
- Psalm 103:1-5
